Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
