so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
