I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
