I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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