Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
