I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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