my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
