made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Drunk is not a location!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
