Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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