i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
only if we run a train.
done.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
