Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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