oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
