his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So many bounce houses so little time
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
