32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
