The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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