is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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