We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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