i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
