I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
