I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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