At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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