My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
