If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
