Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He better not be in your backpack
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
