that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
it wasn't lemon gatorade
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
