Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i barfeds in our rink
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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