AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I have tasted many bathrooms
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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