There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
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My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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