Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
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I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
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If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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