I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
