uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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