That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
