Whod you bang
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
