i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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