I wanna passion pit in your ass
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
