So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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