I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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