im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
