from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
