Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize