There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
