He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
