talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
