Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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