Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
