She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
