I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Boobs are out for the taking
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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