What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
