yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
