Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
