alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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