yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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