You can't special order awesome
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Found your dick twin last night
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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