Fuck appropriateness.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
