I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
