i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
