Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
