I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
