Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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