i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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