I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
is that a dick in a sweater?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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