you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
