I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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